We are at the very beginning of time for the human race. It is not unreasonable that we grapple with problems. But there are tens of thousands of years in the future. Our responsibility is to do what we can, learn what we can, improve the solutions, and pass them on….It is our responsibility to leave the people of the future a free hand. In the impetuous youth of humanity, we can make grave errors that can stunt our growth for a long time. —Richard Feynman
Change is an inevitable part of humanity. There are certain aspects of our lives that are going to change or grow despite our efforts to sabotage the process. If you’re lucky, you will age. Children will become adults. Our knowledge will increase. Emotions will turn down.
A noteworthy fact about me: When I’m done with one area of my life, I move forwards. Sometimes, it’s the case that God won’t allow me to go back, despite my attempts to hold on. Letting go, usually results in starting over.
Starting over is uncomfortable. Saying goodbye hurts. Cultivating new relationships is risky. But deliverance, no matter how you look at it, is a blessing.
Allowing ourselves to naturally progress is less painful than having life drag you from your comfort-zone kicking and screaming. There’s nothing sadder than a forced grow or change. Some of us fall into the paradox of stagnation while change is happening to and around us.
The ” paradox ” is only a conflict between reality and your feeling of what reality “ought to be.” —Richard Feynman
Instead of transforming our growing pangs into useful energy, they become toxic. Taking the form of ritualistic behaviors, illness, and addiction. Committing yourself to harmful behaviors negatively impacts everyone around you.
Because you refuse to grow-up and embrace healthy—positive change—I have to come out of character to deal with you. Putting me in a position to save you from your circumstances, even though they’re out of my control. Everyday is a struggle to avoid being sucked into your downward spiral.
This is what happens when self is the circumstance.
At different points, in the last four years, I’ve let the past, people, places, and jobs go. Some people I walked away from. Others, I said goodbye to. In my heart, I knew those I walked away from would welcome me with open arms, If I ever returned. Although I walked away, I didn’t let them go because something in our relationship was valuable to me.
However, the case was this: We were great in our struggle, but grew apart in our success. You can share a path of struggle with someone and take separate roads to success. Many of the people (mostly coworkers) whom I befriended in the last 10 years were experiencing identity crisis, which kept us connected longer than it should have.
For me, walking away didn’t constitute disdain. However, I knew our time had come to an end. The moment I made the decision to walk away from my job, it was like a domino effect. Literally, a light bulb came on for others, as well. I mailed my resignation by certified letter during a hiatus from work. It arrived on a Friday in November. A friend called to tell me the news that our supervisor resigned the following Monday. I’m paraphrasing, but he told her that when I quit, it was no point in him staying. He knew it was over. I’ve written about him before. You know, Doyle. He and I fought like crazy but tried to have each others backs.
Sometimes I feel people question my loyalty. My ways may not always be acceptable or easy to understand, but I do what’s necessary to push situations forward. And I’m willing to take every punch that comes along with that responsibility.
In saying that, I would like to issue a formal apology to President Obama. Last election season, in lobbying for my presidential choice, I thoughtlessly spoke against President Obama. Even recently, I remarked that he [magically] appeared in 2007 making his presidency appear baseless and undermining his life-long work in civil rights, law, and politics.
You can know the name of that bird in all the languages of the world, but when you’re finished, you’ll know absolutely nothing whatever about the bird. You’ll only know about humans in different places, and what they call the bird. … I learned very early the difference between knowing the name of something and knowing something. —Richard Feynman
Early last summer, before President Obama left office, I emailed him regarding a few issues. One, being the toxic nature of my former job, which is federally funded. I received a response that my email was received. At the time, I was over two years into my resignation but still wrestling with demons associated with the job. Months later, I ran into a newly retired, former coworker. She said “Guess what, we finally got a union! It’s because of you.” Long before ever being employed, our organization rejected my former coworkers petition for a union twice. Even with the necessary votes and signatures.
Executive management didn’t let that request leave the building because they didn’t want monitoring. Otherwise known as change.
I know my actions sparked the new changes. However, it hadn’t dawned on me until recently that quite possibly President Obama stepped in and turned things around. It’s purely conjecture on my part. Although, I wish I knew for certain. But, if my feelings are correct, Thank You!
I fought like hell for us during my tenure, even until sickness. If you choose to marry yourself to your career, lifestyle, hobbies, or a bad situation, then let it consume you. What made it easy in saying goodbye was knowing I didn’t take a vow to die for anybody or sacrifice my well-being. But, that’s the way I’m often treated. Like I’m obligated to endure suffering on other people’s behalf.
Those people—in my life—I said goodbye to, I meant it. It’s a reason that I spoke those words. I’m not taking them back or changing them. I’ve moved forward. So, there’s no point in stalking me or attempting to squeeze the happiness from my life by saturating it with your presence.
You can recognize truth by its beauty and simplicity. When you get it right, it is obvious that it is right—at least if you have any experience—because usually what happens is that more comes out than goes in. …The inexperienced, the crackpots, and people like that, make guesses that are simple, but you can immediately see that they are wrong, so that does not count. Others, the inexperienced students, make guesses that are very complicated, and it sort of looks as if it is all right, but I know it is not true because the truth always turns out to be simpler than you thought. —Richard Feynman
God’s been dealing with me for quite some time. I have this bad habit of trying to handle problems outside of my power, on my own. Especially, when I feel God is dragging His big brass feet.
For years, I’ve been psychologically abused by someone refusing to let go, change, and accept reality. This person has violated me in many ways, except physically, by employing intimidation and control tactics. These circumstances led me to write this post.
I’ve taken the issue to God in prayer and fasting. And, for six years I’ve waited for His response.
I know what you’re thinking: Have you gone to the police? Trust me, it’s complicated. But please, I encourage anyone experiencing the same thing to contact the police and tell everyone you know. People stalk because they think no one is watching. They’re basically cowards. So, if 20 pairs of eyes are staring back at them, what do you think will happen?
Recently, during the Feast of Tabernacles, I fasted and prayed again, solely regarding this issue. I received confirmation that it’s time to take action.
I wrote this informative piece on stalking, but my spirit urged me not to publish it just yet. Like I said, God’s been dealing with me.
I understand that everyone is not on the same spiritual level, so allow me to clarify. When I share that God spoke to me, it’s usually in detailed dreams or He’ll send a message through another person regarding my issue. Sometimes, I even ask for confirmation so we’re on the same page. Other times, it’s a physical jolt or sensation that encourages me to pay attention closely to my thoughts or feelings.
This happens to everyone, we just process it differently. You might say “Something told me not to turn down that street.” Or, “I kept having this feeling something was wrong.” Or, “I heard a voice in my head saying my child was in trouble.”
When this happens, it’s our spiritual being speaking to us, and it’s absolutely nothing to fear or be ashamed of. It’s our help in times of trouble.
After years of space invasion and torment, I’m finally addressing this issue, God’s way, firm but gentle.
Seeking vengeance is His job—not mine. My job is to share experiences that lead you to the truth.
I will share my entire story in a different post. I’ve said a lot and don’t want to inundate you with too much information. All I ask, is that you stay tuned.
Live. Bless. Prosper.